I Don't Think That's What I Meant

Why Leaders Should Communicate with Honesty, Integrity, and Clarity

Early in my career, I recall a scenario when I advanced to a large prestigious organization's marketing officer position. I remember very clearly the conversation between my superior and I about putting me on a track of growth and excelling. This new title also meant that the next step was the Assistant Vice President's title in the marketing department. I received phone calls from leaders and colleagues within the marketing department from our other U.S. locations congratulating me on a job well done. I was so excited about this opportunity because I had been intentional about my efforts, and my hard work was finally paying off.

Each year, I followed the path laid out for individuals in an officer's role as established by the company. I had taken advantage of continuing education opportunities, met all my deadlines, remained proactive about projects assigned to me, displayed my leadership skills, and scored high on all the core competencies in my year-end reviews. And based on the feedback I received from my superior and other leaders within our department, I was a highly competent employee and had excelled in all areas of my job.

During the one-on-one year-end review session, I expressed the desire to step into an Assistant Vice President's role when asked about my professional goals. Since being promoted, I had managed high-level projects of someone in that role, had met all the educational requirements by maintaining both a master's and bachelor degree, had years of experience in communications and marketing, was considered a go-to person for many things, and had consistently received strong, high marks overall on my reviews.

The executive to whom I reported looked at me and asked, "Why do you keep talking about being promoted to AVP? You are a long way off from that. You have to be an officer for consideration of that role."

I was stumped, confused, and sitting in pure disbelief of what the leader had just said. What the executive was now saying was a different conversation and was a bait and switch. So I responded to the executive in confidence, recalling the dialogue between the two of us. I had even shared the discussion we had over lunch about the new expectations of my new role as an officer and that I needed to display leadership capability. I reminded the executive of the information I received about the new position both from human resources and signed in agreement.

The leader quickly replied: "Oh, I don't think that's what that meant." However, the executive clearly said in several discussions and what I had received in writing that I was now an officer. So I thought.

When I moved on from the firm about a year later, I often recall the experience I had with that executive and that particular conversation. I thought if I had that experience with miscommunication from an executive that left me feeling unimportant and misguided, how many others in my shoes must feel when a senior leader's communication completely misses the mark and is not only confusing but also misleading.

Fast forward about 15 years later, as I speak to professionals from various organizations, employees are still complaining about how the communication gap between executive leadership and employees leaves them with a level of uncertainty. I had to ask myself, is miscommunication intentional from executives, or are they just in their heads? I think it may be a little bit of both.

In my experience as a communication leader, I have counseled executives about how what they are about to say could come across as misleading or too vague and that it would not only misinform the people but may also create mistrust. While that is never their intended goal, it was the potential impending outcome of the messaging.

Executives have also expressed their fear of sharing "too much" information. It's like the adage, "don't let the right hand know what the left hand is doing." While this statement holds some truth, it also can be dangerous, depending on the situation. As I always guide, it is better to say what you mean from the onset in a way that cannot be misconstrued by the audience. Clear, concise messaging omitting high-level, confidential details are more desirable and respected, rather than a vague narrative that comes across as deceptive or that you are hiding something.

When leaders are building trust across all levels of the organization, transparency is the key. And if all the facts aren't available, it is okay to say that as well. Letting your audience know that you don't know everything but that you are still learning creates a human, relatable leader and may build a "we are in this together" culture. After all, leaders are still growing in their roles too! So, allow your people to feel that.

On the other hand, being vague and leaving too many unanswered questions may only open up a can of worms for employees to create a narrative or assume the worst. And, we all know that's how gossip starts in the first place. And, no leader wants to deal with a communication crisis like that either.

So, now let's evaluate the little -- well, actually pretty big-- miscommunication faux pas with my former executive leader about 15 years ago. Maybe the conversation could have begun with a discussion about leadership's plan to prepare me for future advancement and growth; instead of promoting me and giving me a new title that got my hopes up high. In all honesty, our entire communication exchange, from the one-on-one conversation to receiving it in writing, was misleading me. While others involved in the discussion clearly understood the executive's intentions in the same way that I did, the executive had another idea in mind, which was never part of the original narrative or communicated throughout our interaction. That is where the problem originated. The breakdown happened at the very beginning our talk.

Misleading communication can send your audience in all sorts of directions. Whether communicating to an internal audience or the public, executives should think about their intended goals and outcomes before speaking, then write them down, read over them to ensure their thoughts are coming across correctly. It is also helpful to have a communication leader review what you have written and practice with them so that you can hear what it sounds like from an objective view. In this way, when it is time to have the conversation with your intended audience, the communication between the executive and target audience hears what you are saying and not what you meant to say.

---

About Marnie Robinson

Marnie Robinson is a communications strategist, journalist, and leader with more than 25 years of combined experience in the public and nonprofit industries. Specializing in healthcare public relations and marketing, she is the president and CEO of MARS Communications, Inc.